The only thing that helps me stay really happy is just running. Right now, I between school so I'm working fulltime. It took me like three times switching medications to find the right one for me. So, I take risperidone to knock out at night, I take a psychotic. He was able to help me out and talk me through things that I was going through that the went through way before I did. My peer mentor, he was bipolar and schizophrenic and he was also a Vet. There are so many other Vet's working in there. You're just, reasons why you're thinking certain things. But, you're just more aware of what you're saying and what you're doing.
Rapid thoughts how to#
I needed to learn how to like just interact and then get social again and just do all the basic stuff because that's what I think they are, they're pretty basic, just the CBT process, the content of behavioral therapy, and all the other, and it's usually just to vent, just to get it out and share your story. I'd do that Monday through Friday and then you're like in that in the outpatient program. everyday, just all day of groups, like 5-6 groups a day, lunchtime. After a while when I got my second manic episode, when I like lost my home I went Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. So, they made sure I had the GI Bill ready, so a month after getting out all I had to do as a mandatory was one session per month, see my psychiatrist and that was the only interaction I had with the VA at the time.
The Air Force wasn't going to let me go into a distraught situation. I thought I was like living a really good life and things were just coming at me and awesome, and then I just kept going up and up and up and then finally I fell off the cliff, and I just became illogical, irrational, impulsive.
You think you can take on so many different things and start, you have like 1,000 projects and you want to get them all done professionally and you're always going, always busy, and that's what I was doing. Risked behavior, reckless behavior, just start talking about doing to many things at once. So, your sleep gets less and less and less, and that's just bad for your body, just to not have any sleep. The basic things for a manic episode is grandiose. I tried to like track my triggers and watch my diet and exercise. I went back in and then I was like all right, fine then I'm bipolar, like just all the things started matching up. So, the whole time I was in denial, cheeking my medicine, didn’t care what they said, until my second manic episode, like a year later at the patient quadrant. The first symptom of being bipolar is you think you're not bipolar. It was a nearby Air Force base and they put me to work like low stress work. From there, I went to the outpatient program for like 3 or 4 months and then from there they sent me to Andrews Air Force Base. I just felt like hopeless and it took until like the third month there to realize what was going on, where I was, what I needed to do. They said I was just like a different person. I spent 3 days in Germany but I don’t remember 1 day of it. After what happened that sent me on a C130 over to the United States. One week, I just had a bad week of no sleep and then I just had a manic episode. That meant driving out equipment that went all the way out to the F16s. I was a mechanic working on the flat lines.
I joined the Air Force when I was 19, and that was back in December 2007 and served about 3 years, 2 years, 10 months and got out October 2010.
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